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Dating has entered a new dimension, one with inscrutable small humans who control the damsels you want to save from distress.Here’s what to do: Let her tell you when you get to meet Potty Pants. If you stay together, you’ll be Not My Father for years.Although things didn’t work out with your wife, you at least had a degree of familiarity that you were probably comfortable with.After that, the dating scene can seem like a completely new and unfamiliar world.The timeline on real-life offspring will likely be age-dependent: Babies have no idea you exist. Show kindness and a semblance of liking kids—but don’t go overboard or kiss her munchkin’s ass. Even with modern fertility science, all tadpoles come with some sort of father.

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You now have to schedule sex around a third-party: the tyke. He slow-walked the intro since it reminded him his wife was never coming back and he was alone. And whether she calls you her BF or the plumber, just roll with it. And if he really hates you, but she doesn’t dump you, be flattered: She wants to keep you around. Ask only that the menagerie be respectful, with no name-calling, biting, or mud-slinging catapults.

Depression has a loud and convincing voice that dominates the minds of those who suffer from it.

There's little room for reason, which makes it hard for partners to know how to be helpful.

My ex self-immolated when I joked about meeting his 6-year-old anytime before she was, say, old enough to drive. I treat my date’s offspring like feral, if adorable, animals—keeping my distance and letting them make the first move.

He slow-walked the intro since it reminded him his wife was never coming back and he was alone. And whether she calls you her BF or the plumber, just roll with it. And if he really hates you, but she doesn’t dump you, be flattered: She wants to keep you around. Ask only that the menagerie be respectful, with no name-calling, biting, or mud-slinging catapults.

Romance was confounding even back in college, when every dude still had his hair and nobody had yet reproduced.

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