I hope that doesn’t make me racist but honestly that’s the 1st thing I think of (white male respondent) This respondent is middle-class with no black female friends, rare interactions with black families growing up, and who states his interactions with black women only consist of work-related experiences, yet, he expresses strong racialized, gendered, and classed views of black women as the first impressions that come to his mind.
Another respondent, a middle class white male in his 40’s stated the following about black women and attraction: Sexual attraction for me is a combination of physical and personal attributes.
The findings reveal, overwhelmingly, that the white male respondents, despite most admittedly having very limited experiences with black women, held grossly negative views of them as culturally defunct, domineering, welfare queens, and unattractive unless representing a white aesthetic.
For example, one respondent stated the following, when sharing his thoughts about black women: Just the term ‘black women’ conjures up thoughts of an overweight, dark-skinned, loud, poorly educated person with gold teeth yelling at somebody in public.
My boyfriend and I were having a conversation about black men vs. (He is black and Puerto Rican.) It started getting intense, and I said, "You don't get it! Even on social media, my heart will sink as I see black women I've known from high school or elementary school now say they're "black and Filipino," "black and Puerto Rican," "black and [whatever race]" -- just don't say you're fully black! I am intelligent, can hold a conversation and come from a background more like The Cosby Show than the PJs. I digress.) I know how to cook, and I am known for being "everyone's cheerleader" (that is, supportive).
I don't mean races felt this way about black women, but the fact that my own men do has made me consider turning my back on them multiple times. It would be one thing if it were true love, but some are just doing it because they see it as a prize. For some reason they think only black women wear extensions. I have a degree -- two, actually, including a master's. And, most importantly, why are our own men making us feel this way?
“I’m open to dating women of all backgrounds,” he tells me.
Her company, Middleclass Matchmaker seeks to connect middle-class professionals going through life sans a partner.
Black women and Asian men are the two groups most notably at a dating disadvantage.
They are the hardest singles for me to match, because they tend to be excluded from the match searches of the majority of clients.
As a result of the double standard, she says men who have experienced same-sex relationships or consider themselves bisexual are forced to lie or simply give up dating women.
Instead of totally running at the first sign of a same-sex past, Primus suggests women have an open dialogue with a potential partner to determine if he is still in that lifestyle or not before totally writing him off.
One of the biggest hurdles Primus says she has to cross is getting Black women to open their mindset when dating, and give their counterparts a chance.